Femdom life / How to be a dominant woman

Should a sub keep a journal?

Over on Fetlife, there’s a question about whether or not you require your subs/slaves to keep a daily journal. Most of the male Doms said yes, and a few female Dommes did as well, but some of us (me included) replied in the negative. I don’t require it, and I never will.

I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who can’t open his mouth and form words and project them in my general direction, even if it is a text or email. If Iris has something to say, I want him to say/write it directly to me, not in some roundabout way by writing it in a journal. If I’m going to read the damn thing, why not just tell me in the first place? You’re just creating a middle man that doesn’t need to be there and fostering a false sense of security. There’s logistically zero difference between writing in an online journal that I’ll read that night, and sending the exact same text in an email.

I do require transparency. I do require open communication and honesty and the vulnerability that comes from opening all your inner chambers to me. I just don’t need that forced into a journal every night. I need it to come straight to me, and if Iris couldn’t do that, then I feel that I’ve failed to establish a safe feeling with him. If he’s afraid to talk to me about anything, then we need to work on that, because I can’t function in a relationship in which feelings, thoughts, opinions, and wants are hidden from me for fear of my reaction. A journal is not the answer to that – building trust in each other is.


11 thoughts on “Should a sub keep a journal?

  1. I started a journal last month but it was less about recording my thoughts and feelings and mostly about writing down task I was to do and decisions that were made. Over the past year, there have been times where we both have looked back at something with different perspectives. This isn’t to say that if my wife’s vision is the skewed one it wont become the way things go, but it is nice to see what was decided and what I was told to do.
    This being a new month, I sifted back through the pages and pulled forward 24 tasks that have not been completed yet. 😦 (Not that I’m slacking. Other things have got in the way.) But I have a record of what needs to be done and it wont fall through the cracks.


  2. I can appreciate the point that you are making! I think my Daddy would see having to read my daily journal as a time-consuming task. He is willing to read my occasional post, but he expects me to be open and honest about what I am feeling and to come to him if I need to talk about something. Well said, myfemdomlife!


  3. I keep a journal because I have difficult articulating my thoughts and emotions at the time. I have to process first, and I will often forget what I wanted to say by the time I get around to saying it, so keeping a journal is conducive to better communication.


  4. What is the difference between typing an email and typing in a journal? Both are the same except it is easier to refer back in a journal. Communication is the key.


  5. My reply is similar to one above. I’m married to a Femdom who enjoys exposing me nude online with my personal details and sexual experiences. She required me to begin writing details about my experiences as a submissive and being exposed nude. I also write about being a gay porn model. So I write some about my perceptions and thoughts, but mostly my experiences required by her.


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