Over on Fetlife, there’s a question about whether or not you require your subs/slaves to keep a daily journal. Most of the male Doms said yes, and a few female Dommes did as well, but some of us (me included) replied in the negative. I don’t require it, and I never will.
I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who can’t open his mouth and form words and project them in my general direction, even if it is a text or email. If Iris has something to say, I want him to say/write it directly to me, not in some roundabout way by writing it in a journal. If I’m going to read the damn thing, why not just tell me in the first place? You’re just creating a middle man that doesn’t need to be there and fostering a false sense of security. There’s logistically zero difference between writing in an online journal that I’ll read that night, and sending the exact same text in an email.
I do require transparency. I do require open communication and honesty and the vulnerability that comes from opening all your inner chambers to me. I just don’t need that forced into a journal every night. I need it to come straight to me, and if Iris couldn’t do that, then I feel that I’ve failed to establish a safe feeling with him. If he’s afraid to talk to me about anything, then we need to work on that, because I can’t function in a relationship in which feelings, thoughts, opinions, and wants are hidden from me for fear of my reaction. A journal is not the answer to that – building trust in each other is.